Love

Listen to the song and then this post will make a bit more sense. As I grew up, private school, youth groups, essentially a Christian home, I was that girl in that video. I was running as fast as I could from everything that was right. I was hurting, I was lonely, I felt rejected abandoned and so many other adjectives. The "Christians" I was surrounded by didn't care. I was written off and most of all I was bullied by the Christians which drove me even further away. I will be a bit transparent maybe too much so but this has been laying heavily on my heart because of a certain situation that happened yesterday. I was date raped in my Sophmore year in high school. The girls who found out about it were Christians and totally disowned me and even went as far as saying I asked for it because of the situation I had put myself in. I was judged constantly and became so lost and so alone that I turned every where but Christ to find love and acceptance. I had given up all hope and said forget it and in essence judged all Christians thinking that everyone was the same way. The Lord constantly and persistently pursued me. Even though humans had "forgotten" me God had not. He continued to protect me from paths of major destruction as far as my relationships with men went. He found me in my darkest hour when I contemplated suicide over and over again. It took a praying mother who never gave up and 2 friends (Ashley C. and Katie) to not let go of me for me to realize there was more. To realize there was love and that grace, mercy, and acceptance could be found in Christ. My life has never been the same. As I have continued on my faith journey and grown in the Lord my heart has broken to see that because we are human and we sin churches so often or Christians in general so often judge those who have the "bad" life or look different or think differently. Having been the drug addict, the suicidal one, the hurting young girl I spot it right on and have sadly to say been judged by accepting those who are not "normal" or "good". When I look at Christ because of my life, I don't see judgement, doctrine, theology, I see LOVE I see forgiveness, I see compassion, and I most of all see hope for the hopeless. I stop and look at those around them and wonder what has brought them to where they are at in life. What has caused this girl or this guy to turn to a life of self mutilation and destruction. There is always reason for everything and typically that reason is hopelessness, hurt. abandonment and so forth. Why can't we get out of our comfortable cookie cutter lives and try to  meet these people where their needs are at. Jesus spent time with sinners, who are we to say we are better and cant? I am thankful for my journey to where I am because I feel that God has placed a unique calling on my life but I think back so many times and just wish someone had asked or heard me...This all brings me to what happened yesterday. I was at a college fair and I always am praying for the students walking by as I see certain signs of behavior and as they make one of the most impactful decisions of their lives. A young asian girl walked by me, head down the whole way, I knew immediately what that meant (hurt, insecurity, possible abuse? you never know but when young ladies can't look you in the eye something is up) She VERY quietly asked for a brochure another sign of something isn't just right. I smiled gave her one and told her she was beautiful figuring maybe she just needed some encouragement that day. She looks up eyes appearing a bit too red for my comfort and says no and walks off. I watch as she walks away, her head is down, her shoulders slumped, shuffling feet, and she doesn't stop at any other table. I watched her as she stood by the wall not interacting with ONE person my heart breaking the whole time and praying about how to handle this situation. It was a public school so technically I was worried about what was ok and what wasn't especially since the school was overwhelmingly muslim ( I had no idea). I approached the only teacher close by and he waved me off saying she's just shy and quiet. I went back to my table still not at peace and watched as she continued to sit in the bleachers nose in the Liberty view book I gave her. I started to approach her and was told by the teacher to not speak to her. I asked why and she said that it wasn't acceptable for me to approach a student at a college fair. I was stuck...the next thing I knew was that the girl was gone...I say all of this to say I wish I had said I dont care and spoken to her anyway. I have since emailed the counselor about the situation and have yet to hear a response back. This young girl has been on my heart ever since. I encourage you dont hesitate, dont worry about what is acceptable, reach out to those who are hurting, reach out to those who are different than you that may have tattoos, piercings, weird hair, goth, you never know how they may be hurting, you may never know how you could be showing them Christ's love and hope for their lives. It may be a simple hug that changes their eternal destination. LOVE PEOPLE no matter WHO they are! Ashley saved my life 2 separate times when I was in my darkest hour, alone while my mom was at work by staying on the phone with me until she got home and just loving me with Christ's love. That is what it is all about! Praying that this will help us all to be reminded of what Loving is really about!