Miss Independent

I feel blessed. Why you ask? I feel blessed because of the time that I had to wait for Cory to come into my life. My disclaimer is that what works for me doesn't necessarily work for every one and marriages straight out of college and during college are a blessing for those people too. I am definitely not negating that one bit. Some of my closest friends have wonderful marriages and are strong women and got married right out of college. For me though, I am thankful for the 3.5 years I have had as an independent single woman. I had no idea what those years were going to hold, but I am thankful that God directed my path the way that He did. After my broken engagement oh so very long ago, I thought that my life was over that I was scarred, rejected, unlovable and so on. I had lived in this bubble that if you were a woman and weren't married right out of college then you were a failure. So when my relationship ended I thought that there was nothing else I could do. How was I going to take care of myself, pay the bills, live alone with out a man to support me. BAH! I laugh so much at that now. What the heck was I thinking!?! I realize now that all things happen for a reason. I was in NO WAY old enough or ready enough to be a wife. God still wasn't finished with me yet...There was still so  much I needed to learn about who I am as a woman, how much strength I truly have within me, and most of all who I am as a child of God. I have definitely not been perfect these past 3.5 years but I have definitely grown as a woman and in my trust and love for a God who protects and provides. He has refined me through the fire to be first and foremost who I am supposed to be in His kingdom and to be the wife that I will be for Cory and that he so greatly deserves. I have learned that I CAN live alone, I CAN pay my bills, I CAN take care of myself with out the help of anyone else. I have learned what it means to be an independent unmarried woman and have basked in the joy of having this time to myself. To spend time with friends, to work a job where I am paid to travel, to start a masters degree, to just in general care for myself. There is strength and pride in what I have accomplished and learning how to make it through many valleys to the top of the mountain and see what the Lord has planned for me is the sole reason why I feel this time was so important. Back in the day I would say to my mom that all I wanted was to be married and to have a family and even though that desire has never left my heart, I know that I would not trade this time I have had for anything. We need to train our young girls to take their time, that marriage lasts a lifetime but that being out on your own is not the end of the world but a gift and to embrace it. I will be a much stronger wife for Cory now that I know who I am and know how to manage my life and my emotions. We have two lives that we are joining together and not just me adding myself into his life. I also have learned to manage money and survive on one income. All that being said, I am so so thankful for the time I have had to be an independent woman standing on my own two feet because it has allowed me to be able to be a better person in all areas of life. Thank you God for protecting me from making terrible mistakes and giving me the opportunity to grow when I didn't even know I needed it!

XO-H